A spiritual awareness has been unfolding for the past couple months and to be honest it took me by surprise. Raised in a strict Catholic family, it feels a little strange to say that I have looked elsewhere for guidance for more than two decades now. My strongest gravitational pull has been to Buddhism starting in the early 90's when I attended services at SGI (Thank you Bohni Kempton!) The experience left a big impression on me; however, the bear inside me was growling. I was still restless and immature.
When the opportunity to travel around the world fell in my lap (or so I thought), I quickly said yes. I sold all my belongings and became a flight attendant for a luxury charter service with the most amazing list of high profile clientele. This shift in my life, from working during the day and cocktailing at night (barely making my bills) to five star hotels and backstage passes, afforded me the chance to be free for the first time in my life. Freedom from my belongings, attachments, routines, habits. Even freedom from my old ways of thinking. Freedom.
I look back on it now and realize my journey from bystander to mover & shaker wasn't an accident or a simple lucky break. I put it out there to the universe loud and clear that I sought more life expeiences, more adventure. And like that, doors opened and the most indescribable events started taking place. Even now I think back to that time with awe.
When people hear my story they ask me how it happened. The best way I can describe it... actually the only way is to say that I took a huge leap of faith. I folded my hand over my eyes and jumped into the abyss without hesitating. And that is how I experienced my first big reward in my life. I let go.
This strong parallel swells in my heart now as I engage in this spiritual journey. No, I am not looking to walk away from my life as it is right now. I love my life. Rather I am looking to step more deeply into my life. My adventures in my twenties taught me life lessons and now with time I am ready to put that wisdom into practice. I can feel that same abyss before me and feel myself lift from the ground, but this time I am not searching. I am connecting.
Along this amazing path, I am blessed with some serious heavy hitters supporting me. My healer, Gina Laverde McDermott, has been instrumental in relieving old wounds through reiki, affirmations and EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques. Quieting my body and my mind is getting a little easier each time as I wake each morning to say "I love you" in the mirror. And despite the long road ahead, I am feeling truly free again.
Posts
2 comments:
yay. i enjoyed this post. good for you girl....
it's an amazing feeling when you discover your own potential and become an inspiration to yourself.
are you still practicing buddhism??
I am coming back to the principles I learned when studying Buddhism and have gone back to the SGI site to look for more info. Then I learned I actually moved two blocks from their headquarters in Chicago- wild!
I chanted nam myoho renge kyo & it really helped me. I think I will go back to that as well. Really uplifting.
Thank you for your caring words. It makes me feel so good.
Post a Comment