Sharing the love & sugar

Everyone has a way to shoulder the burden and cope in times of trouble. In my family we take each other to Round the Clock for strawberry waffles at 3am, load up the whip cream and make sense of nonsense.

On the phone yesterday my mom told me her mother in law is in the process of passing away. I could sense her anxiety. She really needed a friend. As we talked, I remembered a book I read years ago Meetings at the Edge by Stephen Levine about talking to your loved one as they pass on telling them that it is okay to go, that they fulfilled their mission here in life and their transition toward peace is natural and beautiful. I shared some of the messages with my mom as she made her way to the hospice area. Before I said goodbye to Mom, I made the offer "Can I take you for some waffles later?" I could hear in her voice she found a reason to smile and for that I was grateful.

I woke up this morning & started to think. Why do we often wait until they are dying to share this loving message with those closest to us? Shouldn't they know that we not only love them, but support and admire them while they are alive? I think of how I share this message with my children so effortlessly but less so with my older family members or even my husband. Is it that we discuss our emotions less with "grown ups" who learn to self-edit before we speak and more with children who are brimming with new feelings and personal expressions?

In the next few days, I know I'll take Mom for waffles and I anticipate my participation in the conversation will be different. Instead of just listening and supporting, I will meet her at the edge of life right now and share my messages of love and admiration for her now.

Turning Green

I might very well be obsessed with green living. What is not to love? You waste less, spend less, instill good values in your children and you end up saving the planet! Okay, got a little ahead of myself on the last one.


I started with the book The Lazy Enironmentalist and it snowballed from there. I started thinking about each & every thing I considered throwing out or purchasing. Is it recycled? Could I make it instead of purchasing it? Most of all- Why am I having so much fun doing this?

I'll tell you why. It gets me out of my comfort zone and reminds me to think for myself. Instead of buying things for my new office, I used recycled materials I would have thrown out last month. A salsa jar here, a twist tie there. Every day I get new ideas emailed from The Daily Green and Sprig that get the creative juices flowing.



On this dreary rainy day, I am amazed that I am not curling up on the couch & reading. As I stare at the slow dripping rain I wonder... how am I going to start catching rain water for my plants? Each step along my journey towards green living has made me a more thankful, thoughtful person.

Instead of rampant consumerism (of which I was a willing participant for decades!!) I can teach my sons about the earth and community as I learn. With everything I have been reading lately, I am certain that green living won't be a trend but a lifestyle. So what is after catching rain? Maybe the urban composter!

A face to melt even a chilly heart like mine

Anyone who knows me can tell you... I am not a huge dog lover. I recall my mom telling me that we had a dog named Peaches when I was a toddler that ate the hair off my dolls. Not even a memory. My stepfather had a dog named Sugar that stayed primarily in the basement when I was away at college and barked constantly. (Ok, note to self, I'd yell for help if I was trapped in a basement!) My dog encounters were few & far between and forgetful. Until her.

I know a wonderful Pomeranian named Theadora who weighs 4 lbs and simply exudes charm & grace from her Louis Vuitton bag where she smiles and wags her tail at me. I am told Thea doesn't really want to walk much or talk much (suprisingly neither do I sometimes) and uses one of these lovely little diapers for her potty times (sounds like my 2 yr old). No walking and scooping hot bags of waste in the freezing temps of winter? Is this a dream? Just smiles and wags. So I test this and dogsit Thea for a bit one day. It's true- Thea smiles, wags and walks less than a dozen steps the whole time. And to boot- no diaper the whole time. She is perfect!

I tell my allergic kids of this sweet, lovely creature and even take a photo of her to them. Despite being scared of other dogs in the past, they fall in love just like I did and we create our own fictitious addition to the family- Fifi Pinkerton. I tell you if there was a way I could get a real dog as sweet as this image of Fifi, I would. Trust me, I have gone online trying to find a hypo-allergenic version of Fifi, no dice. At allergy testing last month I made a small pact with God, no dice. For now, we hold onto to the notion that Fifi will one day be ours and that we may be hers.

Has anyone seen Braveheart lately?

I recently had an epiphany that changes the course of my life and my family. Walking home today (-1 degree for all those west coasters) my mind drifted back to William Wallace, hankerchief in hand, when the king declares that he must beg for mercy and pledge his allegiance or face relentless and excruciating torture. That small moment when he gathers his courage and begins to speak. Does he have something up his sleeve? Will he give in and outwit them? It can't end like this. All the thoughts racing through my mind as I watched for the first time. No, he speaks his last words- Freedom!

A smile flashes across my face. I look at the road ahead of me and feel a sense of release. Freedom. Freedom to not compromise. Freedom to stand by my beliefs. Freedom to be the manager of my own destiny and dollar. And freedom to walk away when I want. Head held high.
I seem always to go back to Mother Teresa these days... in her words...

People are often unreasonable, irrational and self centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it will never be enough.
Give the best you have anyway.
In the final anlysis it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

The camera makes you gain 10? Really?

I've spent an exhausting day watching security cameras for a thief... why? you ask... Long story & I am sure I will elaborate in time. Suffice to say that I needed to find a serious needle in the proverbial haystack.
What I found out in the process is ultimately disturbing. Aside form the obvious Judas in the midst, there is a quintessential moment when, after looking at yourself on camera for 4 hours, you say "That is me?" I would review a day and say "outfit looks good- a keeper" or say "Impulse purchase sleeveless dress isn't bad... My arms are getting toned and I have no idea how!" Who has time to work out - really! I noticed when my color wasn't so hot and the fact that my glasses really don't make me look as Tina Fey as my mom described.
Guess what? Overall - I really liked the way I looked. Moreover, I liked the way I acted. What a good thought as one thinks of the future and the hereafter. As the all knowing looks down on me I am sure he sees my best side. Because that is the best of me. The person I am day after day.
And for Judas? Well, let's say I haven't read The Art of War a gagillion times for nothing. Peoples true sides show no matter what. Sometimes it just takes time. In the end, I will be the person I am and they will be. As Mother Teresa said- Give your best anyway. In the end it isn't between me and them anyway.

Best Secret in Chicago- I find myself again!

There I was standing in Starbucks... waiting for my venti latte (my 2nd or 3rd- who was counting? I swear I will give up caffeine and detox tomorrow) and I look at the guy next to me. Could it be? Could he have lost a little weight & cut his hair? I ask "Are you Teddy?" IT WAS! The best short hair stylist/genius & all around nice guy in the city. I lost him when he abruptly left the salon in May. I ventued from stylist to stylist searching for Teddy. I called the salon. I begged. I pleaded. I bribed. I wagered my future patronage to no result. They wouldn't tell me where he went. I was a like a lost lover. Pining. And the worst part is my hair got worse and worse. As the months went by my stylish pixie went to fluffy soccer mom to mini Art Garfunkel. I tried the more local branch of the same salon. Shhh! I told them I withdrew my support completely, but wondered- could I get answers about Teddy there? No such luck. Tight lipped and heavy handed with the scissors, I left looking nothing like Audrey Tatou (picture in hand when I left). Month after month I lose my sense of identity. Who was I looking at in the mirror? Finally, a few weeks ago I had my 4 year old son cut my hair. He actually did better than the last several haircuts. I was impressed. Until now.

I got back into Teddy's chair yesterday and got my best haircut to date. I regained my sense of self and sighed with relief. Daring to take fingerprints, I now have a cell phone, an email & his mother's maiden name should he ever leave me again. Bitter? Hell no. I have everything back to normal & it feels fantastic.

If you lose your steam & need to revive... see Teddy at Salon V on Webster Ave. in Chicago. Now my husband is addicted too!